descriptive writing

in ruma rima we had to do a descriptive piece of writing this is my piece of writing
and the words that are blue are the words i changed and added and down
below it is a example of descriptive writing

My planning

One penguin

One whale

running/walking

little/big/massive

                        The little blue penguin and the ugly whale

On a beautiful day and   hot day all the  penguin went swimming and one penguin Named Crystal  was a little penguin but split up from  the rest of  the group she went way out to sea where there was a enormous ugly whale name izaak out there to get  a penguin yum i'm sick of shrimp the whale said then the whale chested  crystal out of the water  but crystal was so fast and she got away and all the other penguins cheer for her l but the whale did not .Then later on the whale  got wash up on land and then the  whale died the next day but crystal live happily ever after

Once I saw him I knew… He was small, fragile  with  one  foot amputated.
 just standing there  gazing at me   for awhile on 3 feet  trying  to  keep  his balance  
and I could tell that  he remembered me.  

my long lost rabbit